Why am I so tired?

Sleep. Siesta. Slumber. I remember those days...

I counted it up today. In the past 4.5 years, I have slept through the night about 20 times. Since my precious son was born, sleep is a rare commodity. Our sweet boy still gets up about 1-5 times a night that require one or more parents to get him back to sleep.

Precious are those nights I get to sleep all night. Those weekends away with a girlfriend, the night I spent at my mom's just so I could sleep all night, the extremely rare night Carter did happen by some miracle to sleep through the night- too wonderful!!!

I did not include in my count the nights I slept at home while Casey stayed with Carter in the hospital. Those nights would add an additional 45 nights. I decided those nights didn't count because the night before those nights, meant that I was on night duty with Carter at the hospital. On those nights, I maybe would sleep for three total hours. So, I think it is only fair NOT to count those nights.

Yawn.

I think I'm going to take a nap with the little ones today.

So, yesterday, Carter wanted a banana which he calls "mamas". I pointed out that they were still green and shouldn't be eaten yet. Carter replied, "oh, they only for grown-ups?".

Lately, I've been challenged by the book Too Small to Ignore by Wess Stafford. On page 256, Stafford states:

"Every human being needs a cause in life, a passion. If you don't have something in your life that can make your heart pound, that can move you either to tears of joy or tears of sorrow in about thirty seconds, then my friend, you are not fully alive. Life is too precious to go on in such a half-awake condition. You can do better. You deserve better."

So how about you? Have you discovered what it is like to live a life fueled by passion? What cause makes you feel like shouting to the world "Open your eyes and see this!"?

For me, it is abused, neglected or orphaned children. Those that are starving- physically and spiritually. Those who are in need of kindness, mercy and compassion.

For information about children in need, or to sponsor a child, please go to www.compassion.com.

Is there a shot for that?

One month from today I will be traveling to Liberia in West Africa. There is a group of six women from my church who are going to join up with Samaritans Purse to visit people with HIV, do some light construction, and lead a camp for about 100 kids.

Part of preparing for this trip meant getting caught up on many immunizations. Some boosters and some to avoid disease like typhoid fever, yellow fever, etc. My oldest daughter was very interested in hearing about what injections I had received. Suddenly a look of concern came over her sweet face and she said, "oh, you got the one for AIDS right?".

You see, we have been actively praying for the 15 million orphans of the disease for months now. She knows its serious business. It horrified her to find out there is not a vaccine. She can't understand yet the reasons why her mommy can't get this disease, when so many other mommies get it.

This conversation broke my heart. From my daughter's innocence- to the aching of mothers who must leave their children behind...

Would you take a minute and pray for people living with HIV and for those whose lives are forever changed because they lost someone to this disease?

Mommy Bird

I am fiercely protective of the mommy robin who decided most unwisely to build her nest in our tree house. What was she thinking? My kids are outside playing everyday and despite repeated warnings not to touch that nest, well...

I watch her as she flies around the backyard waiting for my kids to go back inside so she can safely sit on her nest again. I can feel her anxiety as she darts about, trying, but unable to fully protect and nurture her little ones.

As mothers, we try our best to protect our children. But there are many dangers out there. So much is out of our control.

But we do have a heavenly Father watching over our children. Do we choose to trust Him, or do we flit about anxiously wondering, "but what if?".

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31

Our Make A Wish Disney Trip

Over a year ago Carter was chosen by the Make A Wish Foundation after being nominated by his cardiologists. While it is never good news to qualify for Make A Wish, we were thrilled at the prospect of being able to take our children on the trip of a lifetime!

We spent a week being completely spoiled by the volunteers at the Give Kids the World resort and being treated like royalty at the Magic Kingdom. We were able to go to the front of the line of all the rides which was amazing.

Carter's wish was to meet Buzz Lightyear. Buzz did not disappoint!

Thanks, Make A Wish, for an unforgettable trip!

Happy Mother's Day

I thought it fitting to begin my blog on Mother's Day weekend. A weekend that is celebratory and reflective.

Being a mother is a HUGE part of who I am. It is an honor and privilege, a joy and a challenge. I have three children. My eight year old is full of love, intellect and deep spiritual understanding. My middle child is a hard worker. She is happiest helping me around the house or doing gymnastics. My youngest is a true superhero with a heart of gold.

I am asking God to help me raise them in a way that brings glory to Him. I want them to be bright lights in this dark world. They certainly have brought thousands of rays of sunshine into my heart and home already.