Wednesday, April 6, 2011

What Does Love Look Like?

Tensions are beginning to mount in anticipation of Therese's upcoming surgery.

I had a gut-wrenching, yet precious, conversation with Evelea yesterday. She asked me what was the worst thing that could happen during surgery. Before I could answer, she choked out, "well, I guess I know the worst thing". My heart sank and we had a few tears. I reassured her of the expertise of the surgeon and of the need to do the surgery in the first place. Evelea told me that she really doesn't think Therese would die, because God has not prepared her for that, and she just knows He would prepare her for something like that.


Therese has been expressing a mixture of excitement and fear about the surgery. She notifies everyone we encounter of the surgery date- April 13! She is counting down the days- five more! She must have told me six times this evening that she is scared. She also wants the doctor to take a picture of her heart.

Now that surgery is upon us, I am faced with some intrusive thoughts like "why in the world are we doing this again?. Why would we willingly walk down this risky road? Why did we invite this stress into our lives and worse- our kid's lives? How could we do this to them?"

I think I know why.

Because this is what love looks like.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

I Corinthians 13:7-8b

Because if the roles were reversed, and I couldn't care for my child anymore, and she was left alone, and was sick, I would want someone to help her.

Because we have been blessed so much in this life, how could we withhold a blessing from someone else?

When Casey and I got married, we picked a Bible verse as our mission statement for our marriage:

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. Luke 12:48b

Because we know we have been given so very much and we are compelled to share it.

Because I don't want to be the kind of person who sees pain and walks away.

Because I want my kids to be the kind of people who understand what is important in life and have seen what the body of Christ looks like. I want them to say yes to God and be used by God.

Because I don't want my kids to be afraid of pain. I want to them to go near, and persevere, and bring the comfort and love they have been given.

Because I want to see a miracle.

"When I am afraid,

I will trust in you.

In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust;

I will not be afraid."

Psalm 56: 10


  1. you gave me goosebumbs and tears. you are an inspiration...

  2. I weep tears of joy and hope and trust as I read this, Erika! How very beautiful, and how very exciting to anticipate the "new" Therese! I feel so fortunate to be included in this journey w/ your family, however big or small my part may be.

  3. When Alissa was very young and she was frightened by a very strong thunder storm, we prayed that God would send an angel to sit on the roof of the house! There was never a time afterwards that she expressed fear over a storm. Maybe Therese would be comforted by asking God to send an angel to the surgery room!

  4. :You are an amazing family and an inspiration of what faith and love look like. I pray all goes well. Nancy Steinke

  5. I'm so touched reading this. We will be thinking of you guys and praying earnestly. I won't forget because we will be heading for our pre-op appt. for Lily the next day. Her surgery is the following Monday. Her surgery is not near as complex but it will keep you guys in the forefront of my mind.

    I encourage myself constantly that our children will forever be changed for the good because of these things. Hard and easy, good and bad. God Bless you guys. The Lokeys are praying! :)