At times I've questioned if what we are doing is worth it, if perhaps it is too draining, too taxing on my children. Does Jesus really want us to be doing this? To be this tired? Doesn't he want us to be happy and well rested?
My flesh cries out yes! Jesus would want me to balanced and whole. He wants me to be happy.
But something else, someONE else is crying out inside me, too.
Isn't it when you fill empty, but you reach out anyway, isn't that the moment when the sacrifice begins? And isn't God pleased when we give sacrificially, not just skimming off the top of our overflow?
And what about suffering? Oh my. Aren't we called to suffer along side Jesus? I'm afraid I don't even know what that looks like! I'm not sure I've truly experienced it, let alone counted it as joy!
"For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also suffer for him."
And then my mind turns to our missionary friends and I am appalled at what I define as my personal suffering for Christ!
No matter how tough my day has been, I have a comfortable bed to sleep in, medical care available 24 hours a day and within a short drive, a Starbucks to drive-through, a church with endless resources and countless other conveniences at my disposal.
I recently read a book that is truly one of the best books I have ever read. As soon as I finished it, I began to read it to my kids. It is called, Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis. Watch this video and you will get a glimpse into why I love this young woman's heart so much.
This is an excerpt from Katie's book. I want my heart to look like Katie's. Actually, I want my heart to look like Jesus's heart, the Erika version.
"I have learned to accept it, even ask for it, this "more than I can handle". Because in these times,God shows Himself victorious. He reminds me that all of this life requires more of Him and less of me. God does give us more than we can handle. Not maliciously, but intentionally, in love, that His glory may be displayed, that we may have no doubt of who is in control, that people may see His grace and faithfulness shining through out lives.
And as I surrender these situations to Him, watch him take over and do the impossible, I am filled with joy and peace- so much more than I can handle."