lessons not yet learned

i think of myself as a pretty strong cookie ( as strong as a cookie could be). so when we decided to embark on the adoption roller coaster and by roller coaster i mean the highest high and the lowest low i thought i could handle it. i was quickly proven wrong. i tend to forget how much i hate roller coasters. like i would rather eat gum off the sidewalk than go on a roller coaster. but we as a family prayed about this. sought advice of amazing friends and we knew we were meant to bring home two more little ones from east africa. and then we got on the roller coaster. let me tell you this is a rough one. some days we love it. we love to tell people the story of how God brought us here. we love to share the mission of amazing organizations like project hopeful, ahope, samaritans purse and world vision. we love to hear our children pray at night that their brother and sister feel the love of Jesus around them.
and then the roller coaster gets rough. like i want to puke from too much cotton candy rough. we see others get babies come home. we see courts close. we see others complain. we see friends wait years for a word of their child. we see adoptions fall through. we hear the racism from those around us. i read too many blogs of families united. i read too many facebook updates and adoption time lines and compare.
and then i realize. this is our roller coaster. not anyone elses. no need to compare. no need to puke. no need to worry. God has it. He has always had it. and i need to learn these lessons.
lessons on not reading all the blogs. lessons on not comparing. lessons on praying. lessons of being on my knees for the children here and there. lessons on being a witness to those around me. lessons on being willing to stay on the roller coaster.
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