Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What I'm Reading

I love to read. I have a habit of reading about 6-10 non-fiction books at any given time, and usually one fiction book, as well. I wish I could concentrate on just one thing at a time, but why fight against who I am? In fact, I am looking for a good work of fiction right now. If you have any recommendations, I'm listening.

One book that I highly recommend to any married person is Paul David Tripp's, What Did You Expect?

Forgive the cheesy cover, because it is full of wisdom for any marriage. Even if you are not currently struggling in your marriage, I still whole heartedly recommend this to you. It will challenge you in all your relationships.

The biggest idea I've taken away from the book so far is to view my husband's shortcomings as opportunities to minister to him. My normal response to any fault of my husband's is to only see how it inconveniences me. But to choose to give up my selfishness and instead focus on not only forgiving him, but helping him through it, is frankly, revolutionary!

We are Grafted In

Today I have the privilege to be a guest blogger at We Are Grafted In. If you are an adoptive parent or considering becoming one, you would benefit by reading the stories you will find there. You may already have read my post, The Pout, but stop by and check out all the other great postings!

Fun Friday!

Cousin It?

Tina Turner?

It's hard to believe if we hadn't adopted, we would have missed all this!

Hope Springs

Every Spring since I can remember, my mom and I have been on the lookout for the first robin of the season. When that first robin is spotted, we write the date on our calendar and call each other with the good news. Usually, we see our first robin between March 3-12th. That first robin symbolizes hope. Hope of Spring. Hope of New Life. A glorious fresh start.

Around mid-February, I had experienced several disappointments, some small, one large. I was having trouble shaking that feeling of disappointment and I know that if you let disappointment sink into your soul, it quickly turns to bitterness and despair. I reflected on this quote:

The many contradictions in our lives - such as being home while feeling homeless, being busy while feeling bored, being popular while feeling lonely, being believers while feeling many doubts - can frustrate, irritate, and even discourage us. They make us feel that we are never fully present. Every door that opens for us makes us see how many more doors are closed. But there is another response. These same contradictions can bring us into touch with a deeper longing for the fulfillment of a desire that lives beneath all desires and that only God can satisfy. Contradictions, thus understood, create the friction that can help us move toward God.

Henri J. M. Nouwen
from "Bread for the Journey"

I needed God to remind of me of his grace, his very specific grace for me. I asked him to fill up the hurting areas of my heart with his love. And then I dared to ask him for a tangible sign of his love for me. I felt very conflicted asking for this because I do already know that he loves me and he has already shown me in so many beautiful ways. How could I dare ask for more?

A few minutes after praying this prayer, I ran out my back door and was off to my women's Bible study. As I stepped off the back stoop I was startled when 12 robins flew out of the nearby snow covered bushes! 12! robins! on February 15th!

God is interested in our healing. He never disappoints. He can teach is how to live fully in the face of life's disappointments. He even cares about our joy factor. He cares for us.

I Peter 5:7

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Take that, Syndrome!

My brain is mush. Really, I shouldn't be blogging in this state.

Sometimes, parenting a child with special needs doesn't feel that special. Sometimes it is just plain hard and really, really tiring.

To clarify, everything about Carter is wonderful. Everything about Noonan Syndrome, is not. You know the bad guy on The Incredibles? His name is Syndrome. Some days it kind of hurts my feelings that the bad guy's name is Syndrome, but today it makes sense to me.

What is bringing on all of this emotion? A week filled with Syndrome-related crudiness. On Monday, Carter got fitted for new SMOs (orthotics for his sweet little crooked little feet). For some reason, I am out of sorts the week of Carter getting new SMOs. Why, you say, it's no big deal compared to his heart problems and life threatening allergies! Well, guess what? It is a big deal. It is a big deal that it is hard for him to walk. It is a big deal that he watches his classmates jump off the slide at the park. It is a big deal that at age six he would prefer a stroller to walking any distance and he can't play on the soccer team and he cries because his legs hurt.

Today, Carter went to the eye doctor because his physical therapist noticed he has a lazy eye. I thought I'd be the proactive mom and get this checked out even though I was sure everything was fine. Well, guess what? It wasn't fine. He is legally blind (and worse in the non-lazy eye) and has no depth perception and needs surgery to correct the lazy eye and even that won't fix it because of the shape of his skull making his eyes not able to line up. Not so much what I was expecting to hear.

You might think "how did she not know he couldn't see?". One answer- kids are great at over-compensating so she wouldn't know. Another answer- she's been a little busy between the seizures, hearing aids, orthotics, pacemaker, endocrinology visits, immune system suppression issues, physical therapy, OT, PT, asthma, IEP meetings and allergy stuff.

If you know me at all, you know I am crazy in love with Carter (who isn't?). Most days I handle all the syndrome stuff in stride and there are weeks it hardly affects us. Most days I rise to the challenge of it all and even take pride in showing other people how truly great life is with a child with special needs in your life. But in the spirit of authenticity, I needed you to know that I have hard days, too.

And you know the amazing part? Carter is rarely down. And when he is, he is over it quickly. And when I see that smile, especially the one that comes after the storm, I know I can smile, too.

And you know what else? Carter is WAY more Dash than Syndrome.

LAPS of Love Update

Thank you, Freeman Fourth Graders and Teachers!

You made LAPS of Love a huge success! Together, these students raised $2100. That will go a long way to further the education of students in Burkina Faso. More than that, you showed students in need that you care about them and that they are worthy of an education.