Heart Ache

Well, our little Safe Families baby is still in the hospital and sadly, developed a set-back today. During what should have been an easy procedure of inserting a picc-line (a fancy iv) for his anti-biotics, his heart rate plummeted and they had to do CPR. He is now stable, but back on the respirator. Sigh.

My heart is all over the place these days. I try to visit him whenever I can, yet I need to be there for my kids, too. What a strange balance. He is not mine, yet I feel responsible for him and I love him. I can't stand the thought of him being alone in the hospital room. When Carter was in the hospital, we were so blessed because we never had to leave him. Ever. Casey or I was there 24 hours a day.

To be honest I feel a little sad all the time. I do take solace knowing that I am doing what I can for this little pumpkin, but it doesn't feel like enough. I know I need to place him in my Father's hands and trust God to have his way here.

Stop Child Trafficking

One of the highlights of our weekend was that Casey ran his first 5K.

This is pretty blog-worthy stuff considering how un-athletic our family was up until recently. The addition of two African princesses with some serious athleticism upped our family's jock quota significantly. Now, Casey is going all sporty on me with this new running gig.

Casey raised around $400 for a great cause- a group called, Stop Child Trafficking Now. UNICEF reports that child trafficking is the fastest growing crime industry in the world and that there are over 2 million child slaves in the world today. Casey ran in honor of his sister, Christy (aka Tooey, aka 2E), who turned 30- years old on the day of the race, and is an advocate of freedom for victims of trafficking.

Happy Birthday, Christy!

Operation World

A few weeks ago, inspired by David Platt's exhortation in Radical, we decided to pray for every nation this year.

So far, this discipline has served to spice up our meal time conversation, bring awareness of world issues to our children, heighten our geography skills and bless the entire world. Not too bad, huh?

We use the book, Operation World, which gives facts about each nation as well identifies specific prayers needs. After we finish praying, we put a tiny star sticker on the country.

Tonight, we ate an Ethiopian meal for dinner- doro wat. This, of course, inspired us to pray for Ethiopia- the great land where Sitota was born.

Here is Sitota enjoying every last drop of her beloved doro wat...

Embracing the Bitter and the Sweet

I had to go back and check the date on my last blog post. One week ago. Really? Only one week?

I know one week is a long time to let the blog go, but I feel like it has been ages since I wrote last. I think its because my soul has aged about a year or two or five in the past week.

Our Safe Families baby boy had his surgery today (Norwood Procedure). It was done by the same doctor who did Carter's and Therese's surgery. He is doing well so far.

This baby is now etched into my heart forever. I know God planned long ago that I would mother this boy for whatever period of time we will have him. I know this boy will return to his mother, exactly as it should be.

But where does this leave my heart, exactly?

I can't love him less in an effort to protect my heart, that is for certain. I am part of a web board for parents who have adopted from Ethiopia. Several of these mothers are also foster mothers. They gave me the precious advice to go ahead and fall in love. They admonished me that I would not look back on this experience and wish I had loved less, so go ahead and love to the fullest capacity.

But how does one love like this knowing what is coming? It feels like the opposite of adoption! Instead of waiting for a time and loving for a lifetime, I only get to love for a short time.

This kind of love is bound to leave a scar.

"He said 'Love...as I have loved you'. We cannot love too much"

Amy Carmichael

The Heartbeat Goes On

I had an AMAZING and ANOINTED day today.

Today, Casey and I were able to meet our safe family baby and his mom and grandma. I cannot stress enough how God-ordained our meeting was. You see this is a special baby. This is a heart baby. We met at the hospital where this sweet little guy has been living for all of his life minus 1.5 days. He has a serious heart defect. He has already had one surgery and will have another next week. And at least two more after that.

The baby's mom is a good mom. A young mom with a lot on her plate. She is doing a good job with this baby, but she needs help. Enter us. We are going to try to support these young parents as they face the biggest trial of their lives. We are going to love on this baby together as God allows.

The plan for now is that he will have surgery on Thursday and will need at minimum 10 days to recover. We will take him home with us when he is ready. We will get to visit him and his family during his hospitalization.

Can you imagine what a gift God is giving us to allow us to walk side by side with this precious mom and her child? We really know so much of what she is going through, only we had support. And now we can offer some to her.

I Corinthians 1: 3-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Meeting Therese

I am so excited to share this video with you. It captures me, my daughter and my MIL meeting Therese for the first time. I love how she literally walks out of darkness and into the light.