Heart Ache

Well, our little Safe Families baby is still in the hospital and sadly, developed a set-back today. During what should have been an easy procedure of inserting a picc-line (a fancy iv) for his anti-biotics, his heart rate plummeted and they had to do CPR. He is now stable, but back on the respirator. Sigh.

My heart is all over the place these days. I try to visit him whenever I can, yet I need to be there for my kids, too. What a strange balance. He is not mine, yet I feel responsible for him and I love him. I can't stand the thought of him being alone in the hospital room. When Carter was in the hospital, we were so blessed because we never had to leave him. Ever. Casey or I was there 24 hours a day.

To be honest I feel a little sad all the time. I do take solace knowing that I am doing what I can for this little pumpkin, but it doesn't feel like enough. I know I need to place him in my Father's hands and trust God to have his way here.